you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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