idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
