Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
