Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
