i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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