what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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