he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
