Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
