I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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