wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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