I'm drive I can fine osifer
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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