she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
