oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
