a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Randomize
