How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
