If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
