break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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