Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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