just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It all started with a game of naked twister.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
