I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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