I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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