Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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