At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
