My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
