my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
