Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I party with great urgency now.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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