You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
