Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
