Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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