I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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