she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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