we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
