What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
