people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Randomize
