your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
