i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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