there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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