I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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