Dual....:-)
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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