Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
