is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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