did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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