Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
