After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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