She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
