i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
