The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
