i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You are a genius and a whore.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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