my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
