Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
