Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
