so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
