I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
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