don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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