We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
