I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
is this the sara with the beer cane?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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