I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
